Fly Like a Bird

it's kinda confusing to describe 2020 in a simple way because it's a very emotional and such a complicated year. but i like on how it makes me realize many things also had a good chitchat with my-own-self. 2020 might not be that good rather than 2012, 2018, or even 2019. tapi yang utama, gue belajar mengenai bersyukur, bertahan, dan berjuang sampai titik darah penghabisan. a love-hate relationship, maybe? gaada abisnya emang ngomongin 2020, setiap bulan punya kejadian yang menarik untuk diceritakan, and i did for a half year. bismillah di 2021 gua bakal sharing lebih banyak makna setiap awal bulannya. gua bener bener gasabar untuk melakukan hal-hal besar di tahun ini. alhamdulillah dapat amanah buat jadi kepala badan inspektorat jendral, badan baru di bem fakultas yang bertugas untuk monitoring and evaluating. Gua juga masih melanjutkan project bareng tim produktif gua setelah banyak berproses 6 bulan kebelakang, and i hope the progress will be fun also make us grow even better...

 tidak menyangka akan bisa sekuat ini. nyangka sih, karna emang dari awal berusaha percaya aja kalau only time can heal anjas. di hari ke kedua belas akhirnya aku mulai membuka diri, mulai login instagram walau lebih ke karena banyak tuntutan, banyak yang harus di upload. emang dasar jaman digital jadi yaudahlah. tapi jujur gua amat menikmati deactive instagram karna kaya anjir lah gua gapeduli sama idup orang, idup sendiri aja udah ribet:") di hari kedua belas dia juga sudah terlihat baik baik saja, semoga benar adanya ya. ya namanya sahabat kaaan, kamu sedih aku sedih juga aja hahahahah. walau jujur agak kesel ya tetep gadikasih waktu buat jauh dari kamu karna harus berurusan di a bcd. but let me take that as an honour, god believe that we cant be thaaaat far? di hari kedua belas mulai keceplosan sambatnya juga. emang dasarnya nyaman aja berkeluh kesah? hahahah bentar ya masih pengen nafas jauh jauh dari kamu. agak berat ya bun mengatur hati, jadi orang baik banget lagian kan ba...

 "couldn't be even more grateful that god let me felt this way, i never expect that i would be this sad when i let my guard down and set an expectation on a person. it's my fault, always be my fault, forever be my fault. thought i already good enough to learn from my experiences and take notes-- but nothing. i know EXACTLY that day would come someday, as if it's happening on the status quo, everyday, 'till it actually come straight through me, fast track, i'm not surprised at all. everything seems clear now. i understand the situation from the start and still took chances to be happy through those moments. and back to the fact that-- it was all my fault but thank you to tell the truth in front of my face. thank you to let me be happy with all the moments that you made with those grey feelings. heartbreak give me a real break on life. call some besties, cry loud, take a deep breath, swearing-- all day. first day felt so weird. i felt sick, not even had any energ...